I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Randomize