were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
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