Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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