My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
