i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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