I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
His nipple licking is glorious
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