Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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