So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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