You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Fuck appropriateness.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
