It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
