Do you still have your period?
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
