Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
