how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Randomize