So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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