you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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