...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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