why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
