Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Barsexuality is the new black.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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