I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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