Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize