ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
