giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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