Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
