Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
