My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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