one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
