Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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