He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
