I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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