He told me they were just razor bumps!
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
