Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
