No stitches, just platelets and will power
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
we're making bets on your personal life
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
