OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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