do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
