I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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