Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
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