Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
