I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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