so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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