he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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