Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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