it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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