saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize