Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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