I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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