Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
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