he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
