If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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