Just mADE A PArabola og urine
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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