I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
