Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize