i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
porn star boner night. come get it.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
