her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
