That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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