I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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