is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
