I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
