Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
